Friday, June 03, 2005

Taiwan !!~!@#$!

The land of Naruwan ! Alas , i manage to find a decent place with internet access... wowee !~ you'd never imagine wat happened to me in "huanglian" today !@!

i visited this small village of the mountain tribes wif my parents this afternoon , and this is where zhang hui mei's tribal home is supposed to be ! The guide told us that judging by his standards ah mei can be considered one of the worst looking girls of this tribe @!~ My eyes grew a teensy bit larger at this moment...

With a renewed interest, we made our way to the village with haste. I was all gung ho bout finding more bout their culture and way of life ! The hosts put up a hearty performance consisting of tribal girls and men swinging their legs around and shaking their chests ! i found this rather amusing , and almost laughed my ass off.. !

How was i to know that towards the end of the performance , i was handpicked by the tribal girl to go on stage for a performance !!!~ wowee !! Being shy , reserved , i was initially apprehensive and tried to shy away, but i had to comply in the end because of her persistent requests !

the black witch then proceeded to announce tt i was to be bethrothed to the tribal girl !!!! argh !~ they then put some weird looking feathers on my head , and a colourful costume to match the already atrocious looking bird feathers !!~ made to kneel down before the tribal witch, i was then given a cup of traditional rice wine... yikes i swear tt thing must haf been 50% alcohol !!~ i was then spanked on the butt wif a bundle of fronds !!!!! ~@#$Q$#% i almost kicked the blasted witch's butt in retaliation !~ i shud haf given her a piece of my mind...

The procession was then completed with me carrying the bride on my back and running the entire square once.. Alas ... i was made to dance the chest shaking, leg swinging dance wif them ... talk about karma...

gosh... i still cant believe this happened ... My parents laughed their asses off and even took a video of me ! evil parents... im their only son..

Sunday, April 24, 2005

rockclimbing !!

As i haf not aired my axillary region for quite sometime, i acceded to yexin's invitation to go rockclimbing today ! As Keppel towers climb adventure club has a one for one deal tt offers free equipment too, we decided to go air our armpits there ! U knoe, the trick to rock climbing is to talk in the rock climbing lingo... so i went in and told the uncle : "uncle one ATC please ! gri-gri also ok !" To my dismay, they ran out of all the good down to earth ATCs (its not somethign u eat, but for u to belay ppl), and they passed me this goodness-knows-wat-it-is thingy ! uncle gave me the : "ni hui yong ma ?" expression.. Not wanting to exhibit any amateurism, i gave him the "xing ! no problem ! ive used this thing a billion times ! " look.. After which, i quickly ran to yexin and asked him how to operate tt blasted thing.
Man... those guys there are monkeys !!! juz tt they dun haf fur and tails !!! a stretchie stretch here and a reachie reach there and they can get to impossible positions ! there was this particular monkey or rather a group of monkeys who were busy climbing on the roof of the room ! !
Ive realized hunky yauhong is a natural !!! Even wif a sprained ankle and a"im not going to exert myself too much because i have a hot date later" attitude,he still kicks ass. jianhao is an ageing NTU undergraduate who still shows amazing flexibility even though he's 24 ! A couple of yexin's frens came along too... Lester, Chuan qi, Eng Khoon..
After climbing for a whole 3 hours, my arms were wasted..Even brushing my teeth at night was a chore !!! gah ... stupid exams have made me soft..

Thursday, April 21, 2005


the end ....

summit view ..

summit !!!!

nearing ... nearing,....

medicinal mushrooms!

2nd day ... summit attempt .

3rd restpoint !

pooped ...

waterfall near foot of mountain

foot of mt ophir !

packing at my house !

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

MT Ophir ...

Having been couped up in sorry places like the nus medical library, VJC wif dear roberty yeo (i bet he's looking for me now.) and at home, my legs were all itching for some action ! Furthermore, my mom seems to have run out of chinese herbal medicines at home .. As such, it is part of my filial duty to go pluck some thousand year old mushroom or some 10 thousand year old root and some tongkat ali. Me yingci Sel the sandman and Hanboon were supposed to go together ! as agreed at "brewerks" however, due to many problems, i ended up going wif yc and sel only .

Day 0

so last wed both of them came over to stay at my place in preparation for the climb.having prayed hard tt both of them wun fall of the mountain and tt they would at least have a conscience and help me carry some stuff, we finally went to bed at bout 1 am. But not before doing a meticulous chk on all ur eq ! My mom even made some magic potion tts supposed to give us miraculous power !

Day 1

"ringg ringgg !!"the blasted alarm woke me up at 6am (the alarm almost died a most horrible death) after much difficulty, i finally managed to get yingci up and after a chop chop kalepok breakfast we all squeezed into my dad's car and he drove the lot of us to queen's street to board the express bus to malaysia ! The woodlands chkpoint was stylo to the max boy, all new and spruced up..ermmm the malaysian part ??? ...... at the LArkin bus terminal, we purchased the bus tix for 10 ringgit each tt will bring us all the way to segamat. As the poor fools couldnt understand my seemingly good malay, i had to resort to using my more than realistic hand actions to get them to understand tt i wanted to climb the mountain ! SHEESH !!

The blasted airconditioner was on the blink, and i felt like i was being roasted wif hot air ! and the kookoo driver had the cheek to laugh at my malay...So after traveling for like 5 hours, we finally reached the base of mt ophir ! However, we had to hike in bout 1km from the main road. I couldnt manage to convince yc and selene to stick out their legs to hitch a ride. darn....

the climb was pretty much simple for the first part..The only thing tt spoilt the scenery was the fact tt there were hordes of stinky malay boys splashing and goodness-knows-wat-they-are-doing in the rapids at the foot of the mountain. i saw one boy who was so well endowed tt he'd put pamela anderson to shame man. i'll bet the pool would be empty after he jumped into it.. And except for the mozzies tt were dive-bombing us, the place was great. and after a certain altitude, the malay boys sort of disappeared ! talk abt good riddance... well the mozzies too.. our guide,imran,who cost us 150 ringgit !!! (kan cai tou ah !!!) brought us all the up to kolam Gahja ! along the way, i entertained my two companions wif my famed songs. am i glad he offered to carry the tent for me !!! having pitched our tent which was called "meng long pai" which roughly translates as "ferocious dragon brand" we then proceeded to cook dinner ! dinner was cup noodles and chunky and some blasted !@#$@Q$#% "gulong brand" fragrant mushrrom pork trotter soup tt was nothing but fat and bones.. @#@#%^ Me and Yingci bathed... who din ??

We decided to entertain ourselves wif card games in the tent as we were getting kinda bored.. The fun din last long i tell u..The bloody malaysian army came knocking on our doors !Here goes...we were happily playing "donkey" in the tent, then i heard a "gruff" outside. being the brave boy tt i am, i decided to go chk it out.man .... i almost peeed in my pants when i shined my torch in tt direction. I saw a whole section of army men in full battle order,rifles and all wif camo on their face! i thot was some terrorist gp "johore liberation army" or wat tt preyed on poor helples tourist trying to act macho wif a torch (me).. Well thank heavens they din disturb us..
soon i fell asleep... tho something smelt weird on my left in the tent...

Day 2

ahhhh ! fresh air greets me in the early morn.i washed up in the rapids and pools. and got changed, and was soon ready to tackle the summit! We followed our new guide "ello"'s lead. A series of never ending steps known as KFC "killing fitness centre" greeted us. After giving Yc a hand in tackling all the technical difficulties we finally reached the summit ! needless to say, along the way we spotted many medicinal plants. However we could stay at the summit for long as the sky started to fall on our heads !!! but i managed to take a couple of pics tho.

The climb back down was ASAP !! i was practically bounding all the way down..particularly because we kinda ran out of water and i was tryniig to get to the stream ASAP !!! Yc had a very painful look on her face when negotiating all the steps ! it was as tho she was afraid shed miss every step and come rolling all the way down..Sel was right behind me ! bounding like a ball.. ahaha poor sel's soles came off both shoes !~

Stayed the night again at Kolam Gahja

Day 3

ive never seen sel move so fast b4. She trotted all the way down the mountain ! most unfortunately, she took a mighty tumble near the foot of the mountain, but was cushioned by her turtle shell bag ! theres a chinese su yv tt goes : "si jiao chao tian" which translates as 4 limbs facing the sky ! after getting off the mountain, we went to JB for a good hearty meal ! woohoo ! ... and then finally back to sing and the much awaited toilet bowl and hot tub ....

post exams !!

YAY YAY YAY double triple YAY !!! Blasted professionals are over and i din get any surVIVAs (oral examinations) anyhow, my condolences to the poor profs who are going to have to read yauhong's chicken scratch along wif 230 scripts ! happy grading all the scripts man ! ive done my fair share by mugging my ass blue for the past 2 months ! ho ho ho ... a merry ho ..

Post professional activities came wave after wave ! surfing, mountain climbing, FOOD ~ ! and of course loads of exercise. My sorry ass has been up to nothing but studying slping and eating for the past 2 months ! oh no.... i feel like a jasper... But Mt ophir was one major workout !!!

Friday, March 25, 2005

vj memories.... part 1

heh studying at vj has brought back many fond memories... and i think i should pen them now lest i forget them at a later date ! i was a good student ! supporting the college and doing the college proud by winning awards! having been on the lion dance team, assistant CT rep , and the animal welfare society which me jingyuan and nicole spearheaded !

1. orientation... (escape from alcatraz<--- not sure if the spelling's right!)

wesley and i werent too keen on the second orientation at vj ! so we made a daring escape ! wooah ! it was an epinephrin inducing sympathetic stimulation experience man.. We jumped the back gate while always on the lookout for the eagle eyed counselors ie. jail wardens !! but those evil wardens saw us and gave chase ! we ran all the way into neptune court ! and they chased us there ! our fren then called me to say they sent 2 more runners after us ! woah... we ran all the way to the beach man and finaly got away scott free... note : this is not a fictional story..to date it remains one of the most exciting moments shared by wesleytay and me...

2. tuesday gelares !

As we all know, tuesdays are gelares days ! cause the waffles are half priced !! Wes and i became gelares's early birds on tues morns ! i can still remember our favourite flavour was praline and cream !!soon,the gelare gang swelled to include guys from my class,seb, junliang, ed.. most unfortunately, the teachers din take "having waffles during lecture time" too kindly. As such we had to have our gelare excursions rather discreetly..man they are such prunes.. cant they understand tt we need our weekly dosage of cheap icecream waffles ??!! they help me concentrate more on studying aft tt.. Mr seet almost caught me once,but somehow i managed to squirm outta it!!whew...

3.beef noodles !

Seb has always been my beef noodle and fishball noodle kaki in vj.. the uncle at the siglap kopitiam knows me so well tt all i haf to do is wave to him and he'll know wat i want ! ive brought my other classmates there b4.. ant , mz , nic , lc , mike , loy and gang.. etc .. i always prefered outside food for lunch...

4. basketball !

jinyuan was my bball kaki in jc ! we'll play during maths and bio lectures , tutorials , and of course after school !! he was the basketball captain back in dhs and he taught me some neat tricks ! like sticking ur leg btw ur opponents legs , pulling their shirts ... etc..

5. ms wong ! ! our civics tutor !

woah the ever strict face, skirt always ankle length and i-have-something-against-all-the-guys ms wong was our chem and civics tutor ... she's nice, but jus a little too harsh for me.... she made junliang face the wall during one of her classes ! however, rumour has it tt she is a real havoc outside sch and has a bf who wears leather clothing and rides a bike ! all i can say is tt i almost peeed in my pants when she asked to see my mom aft the first common test. and she called up my parents when she found out i was not in the LT during the post-promos lectures !!! shes ... one of a kind..

think i'll continue at a later date.. if any of my classmates remember any significant details pls tell me !

VJ adventure !!

today's good friday !!! After bathing hokipokimo rusty and belle, i decided to relieve the vj mugging days and pay the dear old "concourse" and "reading room" a visit !! hence i donned my holey and fading vj pe shirt and lugged my "weighs like a bomb #!$Q^$" bag tt was filled to the brim wif one guyton,one netter,and one snells... (for those who are not in the know,guyton is a book recommended for insomniacs..) i trudged, staggered all the way to vj only to have my great enthusiasm dampened by shut gates !!

i couldnt let a couple of shut gates stop me could i ??!! hey i used to good at climbing gates ! (in vj tt is) the *%^$%^@^* super heavy bag almost brought about my downfall! literally!!gosh..and i almost endangered a most vital organ...having conquered the stupid gate...i then proceeded to check out wat used to be my favourite mugging spots !

1. reading room... all locked to my dismay ! grumble mumble...

2. garden tables and chairs beside the reading room near the canal !

seemed quite promising at first and i plopped down and got started...then the flies started coming !!! bzzz bzzz bzzz !! i bzzzed them back but really din seem to work.. frustrated and bzzzed, i packed up and left for the concourse..

3. concourse !
wah they sure spruced up the place man.. looks like some cafe now !! and they've got lotsa large pics and posters plastered and the pillars ! Joyce khoo !! steph yeo !! if ure reading this, u should go chk it out ! man i was looking all over for my photo but din seem to find one..
finally got a gd seat and got down to mugging... only to be disturbed by fatty pom pom roberty yeo right after lunch!! wah !! i think he has really put on a lot of weight since the last time i saw him ! his umbilicus is lower than his belt line !! and he still walks around wif his belly protruding i-think-im-cool stance !!

i was super hardworking today and stayed all the way till 930pm in sch !! woohoo ! a productive day !

Sunday, March 20, 2005

bad morning !!!

arghhhhhhhhhhh!!!! horrors of horrors !!!!!!!! i woke up this morning wif 3 new pimples !!!!and all were on my face ! gosh ! muz be all the mugging..

ive concluded tt the 3 worst places to haf zits are in the ear,nostril,and on the ass cheek...

and my mom woke me up at like 8 am and rushed me out of the house to have breakie wif her and sis at the coffeeshop near our place.... guess wat.. i had ace ventura like hair,everything was standing up and swept to the left side... @#$!^%#&* my mom had to meet her friend there !!!! ah worst still, they had a pretty daughter somemore !!!sighz...

and when i came back i found out tt hokipokimo had broke lose again ! and were all over my room... it sure looked like they were having a pooing competition or wat not..

man wat a way to start a day..

Friday, March 18, 2005

jail break !

today my tortoise or rather jasper's ex attempted to run away from home !!!! it waddled waddled all the way to the gate and i caught it trying to squeeze under the metal bars !! haha but its shell was juz too huge to get pass...

im thinking of a "san rui" or "tortoise soup party " for the med lib mug gang next..

stress relief !!

in the midst of studying for our professionals , the med lib mug club has had a few unwinding sessions to release the pent up energy ! i cant believe i went to kbox wif "su yong kang" ngoh, "up! up! i can dance" zhongyang, "falsetto i can sing higher than a girl" qingyuan, "i think im better than renjun but actually not true" toh han,"i can sing well" yijun and victor ! man ... i think the only song tt i sang well was "hong cai mei mei" which is a song about pretty maidens in the country side.

then we had to pot luck at my house on wed !! ngoh and his famous popiah , dick and rach wif their bushchetta and potato salad , manny and angela wif their roast chick, bang and teresa wif their 2 tubs of almond jelly , hunk wif all his beer , dehan wif his similan , selene wif her stomach , ah zhong wif his fried rice, yijun wif her cheesecake which is still in my fridge...

AS USUAL WE HAD TOO MUCH FOOD AND IM NOW BLOATED WIF ALMOND JELLY AND CHEESECAKE!!!!!